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Faith and Responsibility

Firstly, I should say this is not a project.

I had considered that as a possibility, and then I realized God does not intend for me to merely take on another project. He expects more. This is a lifestyle. I am being convicted and held accountable, and can I just say… Thank the heavens for that.

I have drafted this first blog post in my head for a while now. Before I had any idea which direction I needed to go in, or what road I needed to walk down this all began to come together. First it happened in the quiet moments after the time I spent within my Bible readings. Then it started as I prayed. I shamefully admit I may have tried to shrug it off because frankly, I was afraid. I was afraid to put myself out there in this capacity. This is my personal walk I am still a “Baby” Christian in many ways.

God had other plans.

I have written bits and pieces of this in the shower (where I seem to do my best thinking,) in the wee hours of the morning when even our smallest babe is fast asleep and I can’t shut my mind off. I have composed this word by word, paragraph by paragraph, endlessly over and over and it’s only picked up steam.

Then God spoke to my heart. “Be Still,” he says.

And God is Good. So I take a leap of faith. I hold my breath and dive head first in these murky waters.

So he is now guiding my hands as I compose this first post. He is lighting the way and giving me the strength at this very moment to tell myself and everyone else that may stumble upon this….

God is NOT a dirty word.

I didn’t grow up in a church. I actually only remember being IN a church once and that was for my Mother’s wedding when I was close to ten years old. I found Jesus when I met my husband at the tender age of sixteen. He asked me to go along one fine Sunday, and being the love struck teenager I was of course I consented, while inside there was quite a bit of turbulence and more than a bit of fear. I remember sitting in the Pew and watching those around me with their arms outstretched and tears streaming down their face and wondering frankly, what gave. I felt insignificant. I felt like an outsider. I reluctantly went back, and then back again and God began to speak to my heart. I remember the Pastor’s wife walking around during church service, randomly praying for the members of the church and me silently begging in my head for her to come over to me.  I fell hard. I became a believer.

But my walk hasn’t been perfect.

Over the years I have fallen in and out of church. I struggle daily. I question myself, my faith and everything in between. There are days when I just don’t know how we are going to get it all together in time for the next wave of bills or all the grown up responsibilities that grind on us all,  and I pull those burdens down around my neck and fasten them like a cloak of sorrows. In those moments I barely remember to breath… and then I remember. God is with me. God loves me. I only need faith as big as a mustard seed. He’s got this. He has me.

Let me tell you though… When the calling to share these feelings, and to not only document them but to open myself wide for the world to see my insecurities and my short comings as a mother, as a wife and as Christian… well. That is a big responsibility.  That is a lot of pressure.

Even still when Jesus comes a knocking you answer.

So I did. I am. I am answering. I am hoping to grow in all areas of my life as a person, and to hopefully even reach maybe a scared soul that struggles with Faith as I do. To show that I am one of many faces of Christianity. We all truly are. We all represent the REAL body of Christ. The imperfect, the broken, the sometimes less than faithful. In our brokenness, God loves us. He loves us as we are. He loves you as you are.  Day by day I get just a little bit stronger. I am not just unfastening that cape.. I am shredding it, thread by thread.

So here I am laying it all out. Mostly because God told me to, and I don’t care how crazy that sounds. I don’t care because God is not a dirty word. He is in fact real and living in me. I am also here to say that not all Christians are as the media portrays. We are just people in different walks trying to support our families, find happiness, keep faith and love and be loved in our full capacities, but most of all we are trying our best to Glorify God. He has a different purpose for us all and I intend to live up to it the best I can.  Whether you have accepted Jesus only a moment ago, or you have been a lifelong follower of Christ he loves you and always has.

I will get into my own testimony and how God has moved in me and helped our family in another post, but an introduction was needed. This blog will be a place to celebrate the love I have for God, my family and to be completely honest and hold myself accountable.

I am here to share my love for God and the people he has put in my life.

I am here because I am real, and I am willing to sacrifice my comfort for the love of the Lord, to not only glorify his name but to bring not just me but hopefully YOU closer to God.

I hope you will stick around.

Philemon 1:6- NIV

I pray that you may be active in sharing your faith, so that you have a full understanding of every good thing we have in Christ.

 

February 6, 2014 - 7:52 pm

Brigette - Sarah, one of the reasons I love you (and I think everyone loves you) is because you are so real. I look forward to seeing more of this new journey you’re on. <3

February 6, 2014 - 8:08 pm

Rachel - Oh sweet Sarah I love this ❤️ I can relate in so many ways and I admire your honesty, your heart and your obedience. I so look forward to following this.

February 6, 2014 - 8:34 pm

Kim Cunningham - My respect for you just grew a lot! I’ve always admired you, but now I feel privileged to call you sister in Christ! You have a beautiful spirit, and family! Look forward to hearing more.

February 6, 2014 - 8:35 pm

Debbie Ludwin - Thank you Marissa. You gave me peace and hope today.

February 6, 2014 - 8:36 pm

Misty - Big hugs to you! I will walk this journey with you! Grew up in church, walked away on and off, knowing God loved me , now just the last few years trying to walk life out as God intended me too. Raise my babies to know God, even I know I fail daily , be the wife Gods called me to be and figure out where he wAnts me to go and who I really in Him.

February 6, 2014 - 8:39 pm

Jeanna Ludwig - So excited to follow you on your journey and I know that this will be an encouraging journey for me also as well as many others. Kudos to you for stepping out <3

February 6, 2014 - 9:22 pm

Stephanie Beaty - Beautiful sentiments from a beautiful soul — honoring a beautiful God. Thank you for writing…

February 6, 2014 - 10:41 pm

Holly - I love love love this! I love your heart and your honesty. I love your faith and your vulnerability. I love you!

February 6, 2014 - 10:44 pm

Holly - and I’m jealous of your cute website! You can design mine if you want! 😉

February 6, 2014 - 11:04 pm

Lizzy Reiber - Honey, I’m in tears and I’m proud to call you friend. I’m thankful that people are going to be blessed by this new endeavor of yours and my heart is beyond full! Love love love you and your heart for people. Psalm 72:19!

February 7, 2014 - 3:53 am

Kelsey - Beautiful! I love your passion! We are so loved!

February 7, 2014 - 1:28 pm

Brandie - Oh Sarah, I love this!!! So much of what you said spoke to me. We all have times were we feel we fall short when it comes to our faith. Thanks for the reminder that he loves us in our brownness and that just a mustard seed is enough. ((Hugs))

February 7, 2014 - 9:25 pm

Lynn - I am where you have been and are. I feel so empty and I know why. I turned my head to the side knowing that god is there when I need him to be. How unfaithful I am. I am looking forward to your writings as I find hope that I am not alone in my path back home.

February 7, 2014 - 10:10 pm

Amy Nabors - Your words are so refreshing. I have admired your photography for quite a while now and am excited to follow along on your journey here now as well.

February 8, 2014 - 12:20 am

Dawn Shiree - Beautiful. Brave. And most definitely inspiring. I am sure that I speak for many sisters in Christ when I say that you have our full support and we’ll most definitely be following your journey here.

As one who has been seeking God’s will for my creative passions I have considered how very vulnerable a calling such as this would make me feel… for now I am being still and waiting on the Lord and He is lovingly giving me time to grow in grace, but when the calling comes I pray I could and would be so bold to share as faithfully as you’ve done here. This is beautiful … write on, sister. xx

February 8, 2014 - 12:36 am

Louise Zabriskie - So beautifully expressed Sarah! I love that you are doing this. I know our Heavenly Father has a plan for us and and he knows and loves each and every one of us, his children. I know our Savior, Jesus Christ, atoned for our sins and can succor us through our trials and sorrows with his perfect love and understanding. Thank you for sharing your faith.

hugs,
Louise (elle_zee)

p.s. Fabulously designed site!

February 8, 2014 - 7:05 am

Tavia - You have written your story so beautifully. Gives me inspiration & hope. I always wonder how does he find us when we weren’t raised in church. But indeed he finds us, he found me too.

February 8, 2014 - 4:22 pm

Esther - I needed to read this yesterday as my heart was so heavy. So very uplifting and for me, to know there are photographers out there whom I admire their work professionally, but also who I can respect their thoughts on life, motherhood and faith is just such a bonus! Can’t wait to keep reading and seeing God work in your life and in a way..my own :).

February 10, 2014 - 6:59 pm

Stori - I read this post on Saturday, the 8th, and it stayed with me. It is so refreshing/relieving to read such bold words come out to speak about God (especially from another photographer). I hope it’s okay to share this….

Although I accepted Christ when I was 12, I never truly walked with God. I have struggled since 2009, when I decided to get off the fence and follow Him whole heartedly. The struggle has come from my husband (raised catholic)who has had an issue with my new lifestyle (trying to find time to read the bible in the morning,listening to non secular music, partying done with types of changes)This began with me having our 2 children and became more and more real in my life once my cousin/best friend came down to visit me in 2009 and impressed upon me the blessings I was missing by not walking fully with Him. Since then, I have been praying a lot and asking if photography was His will for my life. This too, I have battled and fought for with my husband because I basically started this “business” without discussing it with him. Before any judgment befalls my husband, let me just say, he is an awesome husband and an amazing father who works incredibly hard to keep his family healthy, strong and happy. That said, he was reluctant to support my obsession/passion with photography well because let’s face it, it’s an expensive vocation to get into. Longer story short(sorry), I heard God tell me put it down, the photography that is. Let me just say that once I confirmed what I heard, I grieved for 3 days…a heaviness came over me. I believe He wants me to wait. And it is hard to wait. I am in the middle of this waiting right now but I am also faithful that He knows better than me of what lies ahead. I am inlove with Him more and more each day. I would love to hear about everyones walk with God. Thank you Sarah for opening up and sharing your beautiful walk with us.

February 14, 2014 - 4:23 am

Amy Schuff - AND you love Jesus?? You’re pretty much one of the coolest women around 🙂

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